I am such a clean freak! I can't stand all the clutter and knowing the carpet hasn't been vacuumed in 2 weeks, YUCK!!! I have 3 loads of clean laundry sitting on the family room floor just calling me to fold and put away.
I have had this fibro-flair for 2 weeks now and today I gave in, I mustered up all I could to just DO IT. I wiped all the crumbs and sticky stuff off the counters, I picked up dirty laundry and sorted it, and I vacuumed the family room. I feel so much better that the space I have been spending soooo much time in is a little cleaner. The clean laundry is still calling my name but I know I have overdone it. I am already paying the price. All I did was vacuum a room and wipe down some counters. OK and sorted a heap of laundry... but that was it... Why am I crashing after a normal, moderate amount of tidying up? I need clean and tidy to feel normal and less stressed. If my home is in order my life feels in order, sorta kinda. My husband, JC has been fantastic about helping around the house. He really has. Although since my diagnosis he has refused to read about Fibromyalgia and is in denial that this is chronic...like he thinks this is the flu and will be gone soon and we can resume to normal. I guess I'll get back to that later... So anyways, JC has been really good about being "Mr. Mom" he is cooking and doing dishes, helping me when I ask and just being awesome. My son is good about picking up the clutter and doing his chores and helping his little sister pick up all of her messes. BUT, they are not so great with the things I do, like dust, vacuum, laundry... JC will do the laundry but he will cram in as much as he can which is gross because how can the clothes get clean that way? Like I said I'm a FREAK! My family is perfectly happy digging through the clean piles to find something to wear... I like to fold them up nice and put them where they belong. Isn't that how it's supposed to be? I can settle right now, I can compromise. I feel SOOOO much better having this space that I have been spending most of my time in being a bit cleaner, the rest of the house is a dump and granted I do have close to 4000ft in this ginormous home to clean so even when I feel great cleaning is a big task. I am good right now with the family room being tidy and I can live with everything else being a STY. I just can't imagine this being my future. I am supermom, but right now I am supergimp. It's so frustrating to think about the future. I know this is how it's been for over 10 years but now it's the real flippin deal! I have to accept, understand and reevaluate the how's and what's in my life to avoid these horrible flair ups! I have always been one to write and write and write, I can tell you that even though I have to take many breaks between typing because my writs hurt so bad... This blog is such a stress reliever! To anyone reading this blog and going through the same ordeals, I would love to hear from you!
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