Rehab

I have so discovered that I am in the process of becoming a "Recovering Perfectionist".  Who knew? 
For those of you who knew me prior to age 23 you may be thinking "What is she talking about", yes, prior to age 23 I was a complete and total self acknowledging SLACKER.  Prior to age 23 I would go where the wind took me, looking for every party and social event.  The only energy I really put fourth was to conger up a good time.  Yes, that was then.  Around age 23 I unknowingly did a complete 360.    I didn't dawn on me that I needed to be different, it just happened.  I still had a good time but was not a slacker.  It could be because I had recently eloped with someone I knew only a couple of months while we were drunk in Las Vegas, it could be because I was soon going to be a mother... I don't know, but it happened.  In the past 12 or so years I have become the most efficient, routine, republican, scheduled person ever.  I get reports done early and with a little "extra" added to make the process better or easier for the other person, when I instruct coworkers on how to do things I contemplate every question that could be asked and I make sure to address all the different peoples personalities in the instructing, when I have to do a certificate for someone I add a few blingy rhinestones just so that person receiving the certificate feels extra special (because they should), I take on extra things because I feel they are important and should be done "well" like adopting families at Christmas, and making sure their Christmas rocks!...  At home I want the kids to eat dinner at a decent time each night, read stories and do homework.  I kept the house tidy/clean and would wash, fold and put away 4-5 loads of laundry every weekend even when we had lots of extra curricular activities going on.  Friends, peers and coworkers would call me Martha Stewart when I came up with crafty ideas.  I was the problem solver, an excellent one.  Multi-task was my middle name.
I have been cutting back.  It's been hard.  Sometimes I get a surge of energy and I really want to scrub floorboards or vacuum the curtains.  BUT, I fight to let go.  To just let go. 
I don't have to be a perfectionist.
I just have to be happy for me.