New Day...

Today is a new day and the Doc is keeping me out of work for 3 more weeks.  During these 3 weeks I am instructed to see the counselor to relieve stress and to take a sleep study test.  I feel soooo STRESSED out to miss work.  I know the office is short help as it is and knowing that I'm leaving my {wonderful} coworkers hanging and that they have to work extra hard to pick up the slack is sooo frustrating to me!  I know I'd do it for them and they have my back but as I have mentioned in other posts, I am not used to being in this role.  I know in my heart that this is the best thing for me... I know I have to CHILL OUT.  I know I won't feel better if I go back to work tomorrow because I will just go and go and trudge on to get all the things done that need to be done and I will crash HARD.  If I can get over this FUNKY-FLAIR and recoup then I will not CRASH & BURN hard... at least not harder than normal.  I know I crash and burn... I do it all the time...almost daily as I come home and can be considered absolutely worthless because I am so tired!  It's just always been the norm and it's not so bad... at least I am use to the "regular" crash and burn.  I just don't think I've experienced it at this magnitude.  My entire body aches, I feel like I am walking through wet cement that is neck high.  I feel like I am in a tunnel and I can only see directly in front of me and every time I listen or talk there is a mild "whaw, whaw, whaw" going on.  To sum it all up I feel so OUT OF IT.  Even as I type, I stop and question where I'm going with this and can't get words off the tip of my tongue {or fingertips}.  Even though people think I am a wimp I am really a tough cookie, I am NOT going to let this control me!  To quote a very good friend "Oooooowwwwmmmmmmm" (that's the owm sound of meditation hehe).